Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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