ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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