Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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