even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
