But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I've blown a few things in my day
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's a Shit stain on my heart
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
