he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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