you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
