Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
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