HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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