I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
