I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
