i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
