everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
