i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
