Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We don't watch enough power rangers
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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