Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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