Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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