Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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