I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
