READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
