You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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