"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
