I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
