You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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