I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
