Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
