Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
