Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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