i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
