Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
