I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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