Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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