I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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