Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
