Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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