Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
