look no pants
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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