It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
