i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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