OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
