He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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