i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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