you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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