Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
