She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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