haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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