is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
