We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
