we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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