Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
