Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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