Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
