I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
