Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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