i just google imaged poop.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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