Where is the hickey?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
