Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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